The Untouchables of Truth

Often people who stand for truth and justice are outcasts. They don’t fit into popular culture. They are the ones that pass out Jesus tracts, who serve up meals to the hungry, who protest against rulers and power brokers that make their fortunes on the backs of the needy. Even among them there are usually some who don’t quite fit in but don’t care anyway and inject themselves into a protest or other group with off-script grievances, because they have something inside that won’t let them keep still. It rumbles within and moves them out on the streets to stir people up. Truth is like a volcano, building up pressure until it explodes. First it begins to simmer deep within, then pressure and momentum builds, eventually giving way to an explosion.

9/11 Truthers, anti-new-world-order folks and Jesus people are outcasts. While most want to fit into the world system and don’t mind being cogs in a wheel as long as they can derive benefit from their cog-hood, there are others who don’t mind their own quirkiness because it gives meaning to their lives in what has become an insane, dysfunctional and often brutal world. Some will hold the front lines for religious groups that trend toward cultism and serve as pawns to fill the pockets of their conspicuously consuming leaders. A friend of mine, for example, complained to me about the Jehovah’s Witnesses the other day, how she disliked their manipulative tactics and I understood the revulsion she felt when even thinking about them. They are indeed a strange bunch, saying we’re all the minions of a devil system but don’t they have a right to say what they think? Surely they do. It’s still a free country. Religious fanatics tend to gain ground because there is usually an element of truth to what they are saying. It is therefore important that even fanatics retain their rights to free speech as long as they aren’t infringing upon other’s rights or crossing over into violence.

Movements develop because of dissatisfaction with what is and a longing for what isn’t and it has always been that way. These days we are confronted with new incarnations of injustice and inhumanity and the battle lines are slowly being drawn yet again. The brutality of Hitler, Stalin and the pre-Attaturk murderers of the Armenian holocausts have been more or less seared into our consciousness. Still clear in their minds, their fears aroused, revolutionaries and reformers seek to uncover and confront what is plainly evil out of moral conviction and to prevent what is perhaps unpreventable. Now to most of us, we live in a well-ordered, highly principled society, and see ourselves in a good light, doing great things in the pursuit of happiness but there also appears along side of the desire for material prosperity a gnawing perception that won’t cease in its desire to express itself. When the W.T.C. towers fell, everyone everywhere was reeling in shock at the immense horror of seeing three huge buildings collapse into their foundations but it wasn’t long before people grew weary of watching the repetitive coverage of it on the TV news. A few of them however, began to feel a sense that they weren’t being told the whole story as it was covered by big media since much of the account didn’t quite ring true for them. There was a palpable anti-climactic feel to the story as the months passed and wreckage was cleared from the sites and certain individuals, including some of the 9/11 families began speaking out about the holes in the official story, questioning the plausibility of the events as they were said to have happened. They began writing books, doing talk-radio shows, writing blogs and creating conspiracy websites and though six years have passed since September 11, 2001, it seems harder than ever for the powers that be to knock them down through intimidation. The ‘wacko fringe’ outwardly might look rather weak and shabby when compared to the appearance of those with power and money but I doubt whether society could find balance between oppression and justice without them since in many respects they are the ones in sackcloth standing before their rulers, prophesying against them, demanding that the peoples’ voice be heard. They’re the ones who don’t really care about going along to get along and don’t at all mind stirring up the soup.

After 2 years of college, I took a break, got a job and eventually moved in with one of the more colorful people in the town where I went to school. He called himself, Brother John, an old Russian man of limited means and a long beard who sold hand carved tasseled canes with ‘peace’ signs emblazoned on top. He would show up at anti-Vietnam war demonstrations in town and though his English was not the best, he was able to get his point across when talking and was genuinely fond of the kids and the kids felt likewise. John used to call them the “Children of God” in reference to the parable in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount and although he wasn’t held in high regard by most people in his general age category (he did a few stretches at the Connecticut Valley Mental Hospital due to paranoid schizophrenia) he did manage however to gain quite a sizable following among the young people that used to hang around downtown. He also used to write many hundred page letters in Russian to Brezhnev and Nixon about how they were followers of the Devil and that the young people who were protesting the war were actually the ones on God’s side who would bring an era of peace to the earth and although he never received replies from his addressees, it never deterred him from writing long into the night. Once in awhile he would go on drinking binges which preceded his hospitalizations but when I think back on those days I realize that he had, even with his disability, somehow imprinted us kids with some glimmer of spiritual truth and although the vessel that brought the gift had a tarnished, rough, shepherd-like appearance, it was one that gave the town enough of a spiritual spark to help bring about an end to the War.

Today there is a new and growing anti-war, anti-globalist tide of discontent similar to what occurred in the late 60’s and it’s slowly gaining in strength and poise. Although the message is still ridiculed and marginalized in the major media and its speakers still ranked as untouchables, they are nevertheless having a perceptible and effective ‘push back’ effect against those who seek unlimited power. This new breed of radicals loves to get in the face of those ranking high in the system, pointing out their lies and hypocrisy and alerting people to what could actually happen as a result of reduced civil liberties and increased political repression that could lead to a possible American (and World) dictatorship. It is no longer a left wing or right wing fight either since many are starting to understand that the bipolar paradigm they’ve been spoon-fed is just a manufactured illusion to keep them off track. This movement is actually quite conservative in its desire to see the nation return to the constitutional principles of individual rights, limited government, with just enough liberalism mixed in to allow for a just society and stands a much greater chance of gaining a voice than did the communist-leaning big-government radicals of the former era.

Whatever one believes, there is a very deep despair and skepticism in the direction our politicians and corporations are taking us. Something deep within is waking folks up and putting those in the system on notice that they won’t have their bestial way with them the next time around. People are starting to examine media spin and are beginning to realize that they are being propagandized to look the other way and not question authority and that they are likely being herded into the slaughterhouse of a Third World War. This new awareness is leading many out of the delusional dream world and is starting to bring the elites to their knees, and with that said, there’s a very good chance, I think, that truth in all its manifestations will not only survive but will continue to thrive regardless of its external appearance.

Living Between Earth and Sky

Much of the human strife that has existed from the beginning can be understood in terms of the struggle of individuals, groups and nations to obtain those things that are valued as scarce because we live in a world with physical limitations. There is never enough to go around it seems. Not enough money, food, land or natural resources and even if we subjectively feel we are doing very well, there is always a deep-in-the-gut sense that we are lacking something on both large and small-scale terms. Overarching all our needs is the knowledge that we have a limited life span that puts time limits in the pursuit of things. Religion and spiritual concepts in their purest forms are essentially unknowable in this context and one of the problems with the competing systems of belief is that each one claims to have the answers the others lack, which exerts pressure on each to dominate the other to a greater or lesser degree. In the Jewish tradition, one of the main tenets of the faith is the absolute holiness of God which allows no images of the Creator and from this idea comes the dictate to not worship other gods or idols, because to do so is to take the infinite and bottle it up within human thinking which leads to drawing doctrinal conclusions from faulty premises. Other traditions, however, see the One God manifested in different forms and is misunderstood by westerners as idolatry because it engenders a feeling of alienation in us when compared with the familiarity we have with our own. We are constantly reminded and immersed in physical reality. It plays at our emotions and dictates our drives, forcing us to look at it unquestioningly and to do its bidding in knee-jerk fashion. It hypnotizes us with its beauty, terrifies us in horror or just leaves us bewildered with a constant stream of stimuli, causing us to build up within ourselves a network of self-protection systems to help mediate the world for us, so that its bipolar nature is not impossible to bear. What we are accustomed to however, is not all we perceive, for there is another world that exists not outside the ability of us humans to know. It is the realm of the Spirit, which knows no earthly anchors and is not tied to the imperfect conceptual restraints of our minds and hearts. In our heads we somehow conceptualize that there is a missing piece to the puzzle of existence, that what we see is not all there is, as an astronomer knows that the universe we understand is not all there is due to the unchangeable laws of physics. There is yet an unknown quantity of matter which remains undiscovered, that even with all our science we have not been able unveil. No matter how deep we search into the infiniteness of the cosmos, or how small we examine matter and energy on the quantum level, there will probably always be unanswered questions that beckon us to move forward toward increased understanding.

Everything in the physical world is moving toward either creation or dissolution and though we may think that life here on earth has no strong relationship to the spiritual plane, it nevertheless does. In the molding together and breaking apart over and over again there is a constant understanding in all sentient beings that the destiny of the physical is the eternal. A tree grows from a sapling, puts out its branches and leaves and in its turning up and rising toward the sun it provides us a clue to the solution that humans have always been looking for. That tree reaches up toward the light, to the sun that seems to endlessly brighten up our world with its life-giving rays. The sun, our earthly parent, warms us sufficiently that life continues to thrive in the deep, dark, cold and vacuum-less ocean of space. God, in a similar way, as our Singular parent offers us a promise that if we seek the Divine with all the power and strength of our imagination and understanding we shall find that which does not fade or perish and although we may be still be subject to the rule of physical laws here, we are also walking through a veil that separates this plane from the next. We are learning to balance on a fence that separates the two since we need both realities to be able to exist here, but our longings and dreams reach out to the next level of spiritual evolution. As we see in 1John 2:15-18,

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.
17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

The Book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 1 also counsels us the nature of this existential plane in its proclamation that the activity of the world in which we live is 'vanity' and to be seeking that which will not ultimately satisfy is a exercise in futility:

1:2 "Vanity of vanities," says the Preacher; "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity."
1:3 What does man gain from all his labor in which he labors under the sun?
1:4 One generation goes, and another generation comes; but the earth remains forever
1:7 All the rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full. To the place where the rivers flow, there they flow again.
1:8 All things are full of weariness beyond uttering. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.
1:14 I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and a chasing after wind.

So we ask ourselves why life 'sucks' and we have the answer clearly written down thousands of years ago. Other traditions with wisdom writings such as the Hindu Bhagavad-Gita also echo the same truths as do those from the Jewish tradition and though the story is told a bit differently, the lessons learned from it are equivalent to those of our own. Our journey from the mortal to the eternal state is one that starts in the world of chaotic dualism to that of a world of Oneness that is balanced in diversity. It is one in which we slowly let go of our stake in an imperfect system to that of the complete when we take our gaze off the temporal and see the eternal with the 'single eye,' a world with infinite possibilities. Although it may take a leap of faith at a time when we stand at a gaping precipice, there really is no way to avoid forward motion since there is no return path back to the safety of the familiar. All life is seeking redemption as it makes its way through the carnal plane to the spiritual and to be human is to be blessed with a sixth sense, the urge to seek knowledge about where we came from, why we are here and where we are headed in the great forward movement of creation. We all have an inclination to seek after God and inevitably we must all throw up our hands and submit to the Ineffable that created us. With the words of the Lord and the Holy Names ready on our tongues, we keep our connection to that reality, the One, in good working order and move ever closer to the next level of Being.

The Parable of the Ten Talents

KJV Matthew 25:14-30

(14) For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.
(15) And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.
(16) Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.
(17) And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two.
(18) But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money.

During the Roman period, when Israel was under military occupation with its severe penalties for sedition against the State and a burdensome tax collection system, there was a deep longing for freedom which had been burned into the Jewish mind from their experiences of repression under the Syrian Greeks rulers and previous to that, by the Babylonians, Assyrians, and the Egyptians. Tensions had heated up to the boiling point, and many of Rome’s disenfranchised Jewish subjects were looking for a way to hasten the coming of a new military hero, the Messiah of God promised by the prophets, to release them from their bondage to Caesar whom they believed was a degenerate, unclean and godless overseer. During that roughly 100 year period, many Jewish writings spoke of this longing and there arose splinter groups that reflected different views in Israel as to how exactly to push things along to bring about his coming. One of these groups was the Essenes, who withdrew as completely could be possible from the mainstream of Jewish life so they might reach the level of ritual and moral purity necessary to move the hand of God in favor of Israel once, for all time and they left their imprint upon us with the discovery and translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls. Among them is a scroll entitled “The War between the Sons of Light and the Sons of Darkness” which envisioned a great apocalyptic battle and the coming of a god-man with extra-human powers who would lead them both against the Romans and also those apostates who benefited from a compromised Temple system and from collusion with the foreign occupation army. There were also a group of ‘freedom fighters’ known as the Zealots who believed that only by force and faith could they rid themselves of the Romans and their paranoid King and dictator, Herod the Great, who was in many ways strikingly similar to a modern-day Saddam Hussein who in parallel fashion constructed many lavish buildings and created an wealthy elite class who were loyal to him at the expense of the poor they oppressed.

Within this highly charged political atmosphere there also appeared several individuals with messianic aims who were able to collect enough followers to be viewed as a threat and sufficiently disruptive to the status quo and were turned over to the occupiers and summarily executed, ridding both the romanized Jewish upper-classes and their overlords of ‘extremists’ who had the ability to foment rebellion and further endanger their privileged status and the already fragile peace that held together that part of the Empire. Jesus of Nazareth was only one of these visionaries, but he managed to gain enough of a following so that the sayings and parables he is credited to have spoken have echoed down through the centuries to us in the books of the New Testament. One of these is known as the ‘Parable of The Ten Talents.’ In the context of the parable Jesus is answering the disciples in regard to the question of the nature of the Kingdom of God and those who would inherit it. Back then a ‘talent’ was equivalent to a sizeable amount of money, amounting to approximately several years’ work. Those servants who had invested what they were given received praise from their master but the one who buried his talent was derided for his lack of his shortsightedness as was the excuse the tentative servant gave in verses 24 and 25. What’s interesting to note here is that the master does not instruct them explicitly to bank the money. He just gives it to them to see what initiative they might show considering the status of the giver and value of the amount entrusted. This is how Jesus ends his discourse:

24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'
26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

This parable stands in stark contrast to other sayings of the usually mild-mannered Jesus known for meekness, forgiveness and forbearance. It is used I think mainly for emphasis although it can put a scare into you when you read it, especially about the part where the unprofitable servant is cast into the place where there is “weeping and gnashing of teeth.” The Kingdom of God is not to be taken lightly, according the lesson of the parable so if one is to take the path of the Master, it is incumbent upon the servant to take the journey seriously and to put to use what has been so richly given and the vivid imagery used by Jesus here only heightens its meaning. The Temple system in Jerusalem can be compared to the idea of the value of the ‘talent’. At that time, the Sadducees (of the line of Zadok,) had the duty of being the kings and priests of God, and were responsible for keeping the Temple system free from desecration as did their forebears but had supposedly compromised themselves by practicing corruption while at the same time preaching holiness. This is most likely the reason Jesus often called the Sadducees “hypocrites.” You may recall that he did not spare their counterparts, the Pharisees either, who taught of the existence of an afterlife as a reward for doing good deeds. The Pharisees were the great Rabbis of the time, those who were supposed to set an example for the common people to follow. Evidently Jesus thought otherwise, that things were not going all that well in Judea and that all of its inhabitants were in need of repentance and unlike the reclusive Essenes, Jesus felt it necessary to leave the wilderness and move among all the people of Israel to preach as well as to serve as an example of true righteousness.

Anyway, just a little historical background here to possibly help bring out some the meaning from this chapter of Matthew. What does its lesson hold for us today? It is necessary to adapt the original context to that of our own time, so it’s really up to us to use our own judgement. How do his words speak to you? You may see him as a great teacher or as God incarnate, but there is a reason why the words of Jesus have had lasting power aside from Christianity’s fortunes in being able to join with Rome’s state infrastructure and spread throughout the world. His magnificent sayings and parables have had universal significance and although some of them have also been used to rationalize virulent anti-semitism down through the centuries they must also be seen in the light of their true brilliance and in the life-changing influence they have as to where and how we should use our ‘talents.’

When the Gods Compete, You Win!

Wherever you look, competition is everywhere. Advertisers spend billions trying to capture your attention and imagination, prompting us to buy their latest gizmos to entertain you and satisfy your every desire. It seems that it's the way things have always been. Always something new with dubious benefits to top it off! Since childhood we've been conditioned to be prolific consumers in a get-get-get vulture-culture (you either get or get eaten) and so we run our little fannies off to make enough money so we can participate in the revels.

Religion has always been a business and has always followed a business model. Many different preachers have hawked it over the millennia in order to grab our attention to the quality of their wares. They form alliances by getting on the same page and organizing themselves into corporate structures that can both keep its customers satisfied and keep them continually putting cash into the till. If you've been around a few decades and have sampled their offerings (not the offering basket, of course) then you probably know what I'm talking about.

That reminds me, in Mel Brook's 'History of the World,' one of my favorite movies, you might have seen the part where Comicus, (Brooks) a 'stand-up philosopher' does a comedy routine for Caesar (Dom DeLuise) and gets rousing applause for his joke about how Romans have a god for everything and gets near the end of it with the line, "The only thing (we Romans) don't have is a god for is premature ejaculation - but I hear that that's coming quickly!" and gets Caesar to burst out in uproarious laughter. Comicus then says,"The little fag gets it," referring to the effeminate court spokesman's girly giggle." (I always get a laugh from gay humor.) Unfortunately, Comicus blows his sketch by making a reference to Caesar as being a "big, fat pig" and thus his career at 'Caesar's Palace' comes to an abrupt end with an order to his guards to "KILL HIM!!!!" Brooks was a master comedian to be sure and puts a funny edge on that period of history, which had as its backdrop a colorful and plentiful array of different competing beliefs. Rome in its golden age was blessed with an incredible variety of material as well as spiritual goodies and so a parallel can be drawn between their culture and ours. The only real difference between the two, in my opinion, is that Roman civilization was just a touch more on the brutal side than our own is currently. Our world is like the forum was back in the day with many different people and ideas mixing in a huge multi-cultural coliseum-like structure and is a perfect breeding ground for conflict between the top religious contenders, Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism and Judaism. New to the game but not without precedent are the new age varieties that are more Gnostic in origin. Organized religion hates Gnosticism because it's relatively anarchical but that could change if one of them ever really caught on fire. Some Gnostic based belief could actually turn out to be the One World Religion that the main line religionists fear and might engender some type of millennial conflict as laid out in the Muslim, Christian and Jewish traditions. With much to gain and lose in their competition for adherents the mainliners must highlight the immanent coming of an Anti-Messiah to ward off the increasing influence of the up and comers, that these new beliefs will lead to the destruction of the human race by defying their Gods' edicts to not worship 'other gods'.

Many people however, remain unswayed by this type of fear mongering and continue to ignore the mainline religions' apocalyptic warnings of doom and continue to stream into the faith marketplace to sample the merchandise to see which looks and tastes best to them. Now I listen to a lot of fundamentalist Christian radio and it tends to demonize certain tangents even within their own general sphere of belief. The Church Growth Movement led by Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, for example, is often spoken of derisively as being 'in error' and a tool of Satan to mislead the flock due to certain 'covenanting' requirements and to various 'mark of the beast' features that appear both in belief and in manner of worship. Among other noted 'false teachings' is the relatively recent spiritual sensation known as 'The Secret' which purportedly opens up a whole new world of prosperity, counseling its viewers and readers in practicing techniques that harness the power of the mind, in a cleverly wrapped package which also includes the realization and energizing of 'the God within' who actively wants us to have all our heart's desires come true. Right now I estimate it to be THE major threat to American Christian fundamentalism maybe even more so than is Warren's Church Growth Movement.

Religion is definitely supplanting other philosophies that have become popularized in recent times. Communism and Fascism vied for the lead for a while until the really nasty stuff manifested itself in horribly violent excesses and although these political and philosophical systems retain some of their former steam, neither is likely to displace the other-worldly aspects of religious idealism which have so much appeal to us fragile, finite beings. The Davidic injunction to "taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusts in him." (Psalm 34:8) is still just as relevant today as it was the day it was penned, supposedly under the inspiration of the Almighty. The true nature of the 'Lord' that's mentioned in the Psalm is what remains in contention today as it has always been, but it is even more so today due to religion's influence upon governmental decision making and the art of war and peace. So it's yours and mine to decide which among many is the real Lord that we're going to put our bets on. The gods of a (shrinking) world are upping the spiritual ante and are graciously letting us, their subjects, decide on whom the winner is going to be. Ultimately we are the winners though, since we get to do the choosing this time, and for once they have to listen to us!

Overload

Our 'sense switches' are turned on almost all the time, taking in many different kinds of information which we knowingly or unknowingly sift through to create a picture of what is both inside us and around us and the mind is the collector and mediator of it all. When we concentrate on an activity, we learn to shut off any and all impulses that reach the brain which do not have immediate relevance to whatever task is before us. When we're loading the diswasher for example, there are dirty dishes in the sink and clean ones to be removed and placed back in their assigned positions in our cabinets and drawers and we logically order the tasks that need to be done to effectively complete the job. Of course, not everyone does these tasks in the same order but the end result is basically the same, the dishes get done. Some, however, who may be mentally impaired will often mix the dirty dishes in with the clean ones simply because there is no logical sequence that the brain can reference to do it efficiently. I know because I used to work with mentally handicapped people. One actually punched me in the face simply because I was trying to help her with the task. Why she did this I'll never know, but I surmise that she somehow knew that she was incapable of doing the job and became upset because she was limited in her dishwashing abilities and perhaps became frustrated with herself (and me) at about the same time. At any rate, there are times when we are more aware of our surroundings than at other times and the level of concentration regulates the amount of information we are getting from them.

In the same way, on a larger scale, we often reactively become frustrated with the immense amount of information we have to deal with from moment to moment and there sometimes is a vague but palpable sense of disquiet that manifests itself symptomatically in our bodies and/or in our emotions. Our stomachs may become tight or a bit queasy, the muscles in our backs and necks may become painful or we may just feel anxious, depressed or even agitated and we then search for ways to reduce the offending stimuli by removing ourselves from its reach in order to rebalance. Often it is impossible to do, and our hands get clammy, our heart rate speeds up, or we become angry and lash out verbally or even physically to lower the perceived threat level. All physical, sentient beings have this built in mechanism for dealing with large quantities of information whether it be of a threatening or non-threatening nature but humans are able to process a vastly greater amount of cognitive information since our brains are larger with more surface area to perform tasks such as abstract reasoning and that's also due to the way we've been put together. Consequently, there is a much greater degree of variation and complexity in human behavior than in animal behavior.

We Westerners are a driven herd. Hypnotized by the constant lure of sense pleasures, we run on all twos like hamsters run on all fours riding the great wheel of productive activity all day long till we drop to possibly gain a few of them. Since there are few of us who have the luxury of not having to participate in that wonderful pastime, work, there are some things that we should be aware of. To make up for the range of negativity that being productive may evoke, we tend to daydream about things that make us forget our unpleasant thoughts and this usually helps to slow down the mental machine that keeps driving us on. Sometimes the machinery isn't able to compensate for anxiety, anger, frustration, etc., and our defense mechanisms break down and we end up punching out sick so we can recover from the overload. When enough overload occurs, the mind and body starts a shutdown sequence and we may then be asked by our co-workers, "are you feeling alright?" There are times, though, when we just don't want to honestly display our inner disconnectedness and we say something like, "Well, I'm just not feeling too well. My stomach is like this, my head like that." You know what I mean. It's difficult in our competitive world to admit insufficiency and give away our hand because people easily sense weakness and can turn it to their advantage in the complex jungle of the workplace. I'm including child and elder care here too, folks, since caring for family is usually just as difficult, if not more so than dealing with the challenges at the office or shop, and we don't have the option of going home sick. Let's also not forget the mental load our partners place on us as well but that's another story in itself!

At the rather young age of 35 I started having disabling panic attacks and didn't know why. I'd just start to fall asleep and all of a sudden would sit straight up in bed in a cold sweat, hyperventilating myself into a complete terror. As I think back it seems these attacks resulted from many minor assaults on my emotional defenses that had accumulated over those 35 years and my system just became swamped with too much stuff but it seemed the actual precipitating event was my impending divorce. As the years went by these episodes would come and go but after a time they progressively got worse until I was often getting them several times a day. Fortunately, they're gone for now. Medication and meditation are now my main weapons to keep them from coming back but often I still feel that vague feeling of dread that seems to want to take up residence somewhere midway between my stomach and my head. Now there are some people that develop hyper-allergic conditions to various types of offending substances most of us can easily handle, but in an overload condition the immune system runs amok and becomes alerted to them even when they are present in only very small amounts. A similar thing occurs in anxiety disorders. Something in the brain senses danger when no actual danger exists and it responds by sending hormones into our bloodstreams that put our 'flight or fight' instincts in gear. I remember back in the early 80's a friend of mine tried to tell me about his panic attacks and I thought he was putting on an act. He wasn't. Sure as can be it caught up with me as well and if you haven't had one of these killer-chillers, believe me, they're quite frightening and you literally fear for your very life.

It's important not to overlook the signs of overload when they start staring at you because the human brain, like the physical body has its limits in being able to fend off stress. Take some time out each day to create a quiet place within yourself where you are able to completely relax, a little oasis where you can check in with your body and mind and ask them how they're doing. It may help to write down both the good and bad events that occurred up to that point during the day if they're not immediately obvious to you. Also, you can include breathing exercises during that quiet time which can help to rev down your engines so you can think about the events of the day in a clearer way. Mantra meditation, I've found, is especially good because it gives the mind rest from distracting or intrusive thoughts. The main point here is that we need to learn how to take good care of both our minds and our bodies so they both can run optimally. Mental health and physical health are inseparable partners in the nurturing of wellness and it is up to us to keep a close watch on how they are doing.

Emotional Healing

People react to life's ups and downs in different ways. While some are more stable in their reactions to negative stimuli, others are more labile in their responses to unpleasant things that occur in their lives and are endlessly riding an emotional roller coaster. In time, their responses can become rather fixed and a permanent facet of one's personality. Some, on the other hand, show few emotions and go through their days like a colorless canvas or a soundless instrument because they may have suffered great trauma at some point and to protect themselves from further hurt they bury unpleasant memories associated with that trauma deep within so that they won't overpoweringly intrude into conscious thought. There are still others who use emotions to get others to give them what they think they need in a rather childlike, manipulative fashion because they are too fearful and unable to get their needs met in more adaptive ways. Life has taught them not to trust and so people with a poor sense of self almost never learn to trust themselves enough to think clearly through problems toward resolution and need to engage outside parties with dubious abilities to get them through whatever crises they're going through.

Another way to deflect severe anxiety brought on by negative precipitating events is through busyness. If there are enough things that one can do throughout the day to avoid unpleasant thoughts related to unresolved problems, then it is possible to keep them at bay by moving really fast 'doing things,' which helps protect the mind from the intrusions of unwanted memories. It is normal to experience anger, sadness, fear or any other negative emotions that come our way. It's the inordinate focusing in on them that keeps us bound to negativity and it is that which often blocks emotional healing. When we learn to practice 'centering' ourselves we learn to block the emotional arrows that fly at us so that the hurt doesn't penetrate as deeply into our daily lives and as time passes it becomes easier to deflect them and the hurt lessens as each day goes by.

There are times though when we are pushed to the limit emotionally and physically. Knowing how to deflect the smaller hurts keeps us less stressed so that we have the energy to deal with the really big ones when they come along. Even the seemingly most stable among us are not immune to major losses since they can intrude upon us without warning and act like a huge psychic wrecking ball and at some point, even the most resilient of us can succumb to them and be brought down to their knees. Our emotional houses that we have so carefully constructed and kept tidy can almost instantly be torn to the ground by uncontrollable events and we can find ourselves sitting in dust and ashes, forlorn and seemingly without hope. We may even accuse ourselves undeservedly for being responsible for them, making the memory of the loss even more difficult to bear. These unexpected events may even influence some to attempt suicide in order to escape the emotional pain brought on by severe trauma. Think of those who have been diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses, who have lost a child, beloved parent or spouse, or those who have been victimized by a natural disaster or may be living in the crossfire of violence, as in a war. These can be too overwhelming to deal with and so immediate and continuing help from an outside source is necessary in order to salvage their lives.

Yet, even in the most extreme cases of trauma we stand in awe and wonder at the remarkable ability we humans have to adapt to sudden change and to survive and recover from even the most devastating events. If we are able to learn the lessons that chance occurrence places in our paths we can overcome not only the small upsets but also the larger ones that happen to come our way. They may lead us to question our limits and take stock of our emotional integrity. They may help us to develop close friendships and devise new coping strategies for each new psychic assault that causes us to reel in despair. We may find ourselves returning to the faith of former years with a renewed enthusiasm, developing an entirely new spiritual anchor or maybe just discovering a quiet place within where we are able to ride out the storms that we encounter from day to day.

There are many things that we don't have much control over but there are also many things we can do to help moderate our reactions to difficulties and hardships and to protect ourselves we need to have a full range of weapons in our emotional arsenal to fight off negativity and assaults on our stability. In my opinion, developing a sense of spirituality is essential if we want to optimally survive the battles we so often encounter. This may include the contemplation of an impersonal higher power that at times intervenes in our world but it may also include finding needed answers in a moment by moment walk with one's inner Self or God within. It can also be just the process of finding that quiet place deep inside us or learning effective coping strategies that push us on to not only survive, but also to flourish. For many, those strategies can be found in traditional religion but for others it can be in the internalization of a combination of spiritual teachings and positive self-affirmations. None of us are completely impervious to emotional difficulties since even the strongest among us can be floored when undesired events conspire to strike and unravel us, but the fact that the human race has survived for as long as it has is a testament to the tenacity and flexibility of the human spirit to cope in an imperfect world and each of us has that same spirit as an inheritance and helper.


Art by John Stewart 'The Calm Before the Storm http://www.theartcollectiononline.co.uk/traditional/stewart_john/index.html

Peeling Back the Veil

1Corinthians 13:12 "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

Matthew 6:22, 23 "The light of the body is the eye: if therefore your eye be single, your whole body shall be full of light. But if your eye be evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you be darkness, how great is that darkness."

On our journey through the existential plane our inner eye is in many ways covered by very thin layers of flesh that need to be peeled back to reveal the true nature of what can be seen. When enough of these layers have been removed our sight becomes clearer and we begin to see with greater maturity, better able to understand the relative importance of all the things that we have experienced and have held dear in our lives and better able to weigh them according to their true value. For example, we learn on this plane that the bodies that hold the essence of who we are is subject to degradation as they age but paradoxically our inner selves also unfold toward greater awareness of the preciousness and wonder of life. Time takes on new importance and we begin to understand that all we think, say and do have eternal ramifications due to the laws of cause and effect and the interrelatedness of all that is. We are able to realize that though we are very small in the context of the entire universe, we also have an important part to play in its unfolding.

When we are young we tend to want to have everything all at once, not that we always feel that it is owed to us, but rather that we become flushed with the pleasure of sense stimuli and often become addicted to those feelings. These intense longings act as a kind of blinder, and sometimes we take dangerous detours to reach them and run into a good deal of pain and suffering as a result, but as we grow, hopefully we become more cogniscent of these detours that promise happiness but fail to deliver. These detours can be likened to the unclear mirrors described by the apostle Paul. With age comes wisdom and though it may sound cliché, it is nevertheless true. The aging process through the attainment of wisdom can help clear the film of debris from our eyes, opening up a whole new panorama of what was once an unseen world for us to enjoy in abundance. Aging likewise can also cloud our vision and can make us bitter if we've been unable to find the satisfaction in life that others have found and we can feel cheated, worthless and discarded, but by diligently trusting the Eternal that watches over all of us and dwells within us, regardless of what our senses tell us is real, we are better able to stay on a more sure path that leads to ultimate peace and joy. It is in learning to trust what we cannot see with our physical eyes that helps us do this and ironically, it is the same unseen world that which allows us to truly enjoy sense pleasures here on earth. All the great teachers that have learned from their teachers going all the way back to ancient times emphatically combine to attract our attention and bring us to an understanding of where to look for things that have true worth. It may not be an easy path to take because it takes time and some patience to become aware of the unseen and even then we only can attain it in part. Even the most diligent seeker often only sees reality through an earthbound haze but true life is nevertheless a birthright that we all have a share in if we are intent enough to search for it from both within and without. So each day it is important to allow time for our spirits to rest in the arms of the Compassionate One and not let the dross of the world's impermanence block our way to what we are ultimately and inevitably destined for. We should endeavor to enjoy our lives, laugh, give, take and just be who we are but we also should try to practice moderation. That which is shiny and desirable often turns to rust and ashes, only offering disillusionment and dissatisfaction, so it is important to seek with a true heart and learn to balance that which is of the seen and the unseen. This leads to real contentment.